“You’re crazy if you think that you can do this naturally. Trust me, you will be begging for an epidural once that pain hits!” – My old, disgruntled OB-GYN
These were the words that led my me and my husband to get rid of our ob-gyn. We went to my 10-week ob-gyn appointment and shared our birth plan in hopes that we would receive encouragement and resources that would help us prepare for our natural birth. I mean, he was the doctor who would be delivering our child. You would think that he would be interested in knowing how he can best support us, his patients. But, NO! He was more interested in telling us why we needed the pain management and labor-inducing drugs, the IV, and more. He made it a point to drive home how much of a bad idea it was to commit ourselves to natural birth. It almost seemed like his goal was to scare us out of the sanity of our holistic plan and into the arms of big pharma.
These types of situations happened to us over and over again as we searched high and low for someone, ANYONE, to tell us that we COULD DO THIS! There had to be someone in the medical community who believed that natural birth was a smart and safe option. Someone who could attest to the fact that drugs, needles, and a constant parade of doctors and nurses is not necessary for a healthy woman to have a healthy baby. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack…and we never found the needle.
After hearing an overwhelming amount of negative comments and scary birth stories, we decided to stop asking medical professionals and do some research for ourselves. Even then, there wasn’t much there! What we found mostly were articles that discouraged first-time moms from giving birth at home or naturally, due to the dangers and unknowns. Even family members who had caught wind of our plan had less than supportive opinions about it. I kept thinking to myself, ” Women have given birth naturally since the beginning of time! Women in other counties do it every day with no issues! IT’S NORMAL! Why is it so frowned upon here?”
And then Covid-19.
We were turned away when trying to tour prospective hospitals due to new covid policies. We heard stories of hospitals separating mothers from their newborn babies because they tested positive for Covid. Stories of mothers being forced to give birth alone because hospital policies would not allow the father or anyone else to accompany them. Some mothers felt that because they had no one to advocate for them while they were incapacitated during labor that doctors were able to intimidate/scare them into having a C-section (Caesarean) or into taking labor-inducing drugs, etc. They had no one there to make sure that their birth plan was honored and respected.
My desire to do it THE [Normal] WAY was no longer a desire, but a necessity in our eyes. My husband being there for the birth of his first child was non-negotiable. Being able to be in control of my environment during labor was non-negotiable. Having someone there that I trusted to advocate for me was non-negotiable. Being able to have skin-to-skin contact and nurse my newborn was non-negotiable. I refused to be separated from my child for any amount of time. Most importantly, my well-being and the safety of my child were non-negotiable!
It was in these moments and in having these discussions that we knew that having our baby at home, completely free of intervention and drugs, was what was best for us! We believed it was the safest option!
This blog is our story. I am writing to encourage and share valuable stories and information with mothers who are searching for a resource to help them decide if natural/homebirth is for them! I am writing to those women who may just want to connect with someone who has already done it and can share a positive outlook on the experience.
I am writing to lend vital knowledge and support to women who might be feeling a bit fearful about pregnancy, natural/home birth, or motherhood. I want to let them know that knowledge is power! There is nothing more powerful than a woman/mother who doesn’t blindly trust, but instead, she knows her stuff! Knowledge > Fear!
“Knowledge is the antidote to fear”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The two greatest fear busters are knowledge and action”
Denis Waitley
COMING NEXT WEEK: “It All Started with a Hospital Tour!”
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